On Waiting

These days, whenever I talk to someone, invariably the first comment or question out is, "You're still pregnant!? When is she coming?" I wish I could tell you.

40 weeks is a long time to gestate, but I suppose going from a single cell to a full on human being takes time. When Ji and I first found out we were going to be parents, we were ecstatic...and scared spitless. I found myself grateful for the 9 months we had to prepare ourselves for the awesome reality of parenthood.

It's interesting that the time of gestation is 40 weeks. The number 40 is a significant time period in the Bible and each time, it seems to be a time of probation to see what direction will be taken. Noah sent out the raven at the end of 40 days, the Israelites wandered the wilderness for 40 years, Moses was on Mt. Sinai for 40 days, Elijah hid from Jezebel for 40 days on Mt. Horeb, Ninevah was given 4o days until destruction, and of course, Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days. There's even more examples than that if you look.

In each of those instances, there was a choice to be made...a response that had to be given. In the 40 weeks we've had, it's been a time of examining our values, our lifestyle, and how we want to raise this child. I still don't think we'd say we're "ready" for parenthood, but we've made ourselves ready as best as we can to receive her in our hearts and made commitments before God. It's also been a personal time of challenge for me as I respond to things that God has been pointing out that He wants me to move forward in.

Of course, we've also bought baby things, read baby books, taken baby classes and a gazillion other baby things. Our waiting hasn't been passive, but now, after all of that, the only things we have left to do is wait for her. I don't really care how cute the clothes are or how pretty the nursery is at the end of the day. She is the promise we are waiting for at the end of the 40 weeks. I know she's in there. I know it can't be that long, but the crazy thing is, sometimes I feel this wave of dark thinking, "She's never going to come." And then I quickly realize that's ridiculous.

Our listening journey with God and prayer walk is often a lot like pregnancy. For this blog, I was thinking about how Cymbala received a promise from God on that fishing boat in Florida when he was at the end of his rope and desperate for something real in the church. I love how God's promise broke in and gave him peace, calm and excitement at the same time--something only God's voice can do. In that moment, if he took a prayer pregnancy test, it would have read "PREGNANT!" He heard, he believed. A seed was planted.

He went home and immediately obeyed, but the crowds probably didn't happen overnight. The money didn't flow in overnight. Brooklyn wasn't changed overnight. It took time. And as we'll see, there were tests of that promise along the way in places that hurt a lot, but he and his church believed that the baby was there, the promise was real, and they continued to seek God and wait on Him.

When I think about River City, I think of the energy behind ideas and the desire to do something. Often times, those visions and dreams are God-given like the one Arloa had when she was a young girl on a farm. We have things that we get excited about, are passionate about, feel deeply about and many of us feel a call. Maybe that's been there from our youth, maybe it's something that got stirred up when Dr. Brenda Salter-McNeil spoke or at other times.

Those things are seeds planted in us, but often we mistake the call or the pull as the permission to go and do it. Today, I want us to consider God's ways--that often He calls, and then He asks us to wait. The waiting is not the same as dilly-dallying. It's often the waiting that prepares us to receive the baby, the promise. The waiting is sometimes small beginnings that isn't the full promise we've received. The waiting changes us--ridding us of our fears, our self-sufficiency, our self-righteousness, our unbelief, and whatever else may need to be cleaned out. It's also to learn, like a server in a restaurant, what God wants, what He's like. It's a time for relationship.

"Be still and know," it says in Psalm 46:10. Other versions say "Cease striving." To strive is to exert energy or struggle. Someone once told me God wouldn't give me a map because I'd be quick to leave Him in the dust in my enthusiastic desires to serve Him. So He keeps me leaning, dependent upon Him because He wants me. I am His promise.

The ironic thing is that entering a place of rest through waiting on God takes a lot of energy. Hebrews 4:11 tells us to be diligent, or make every effort to enter the rest of God. The energy goes into subduing our fallen nature to the cross so that we can be one with God and partner with the works He completed. That way, we can say with Jesus, I only do what I see the Father doing...and how many of us know that is a place of efficacy and power?

You may be in your own "40 weeks" period of gestation, but maybe it hasn't been pretty. You're either distracted, avoiding the call, running around trying to make things happen with little fruit, or just in despair because you feel abandoned or like nothing is happening. We heard on Sunday that prayer is disciplined dedication to pay attention to God, trusting He'll speak to you because you're His child. Pay attention, wait on Him and prepare yourself to receive the baby.

~Noella